A World Without My Chemical Romance
by WeAreAllABunchOfLiars
Summary: When Frank Iero meet Gerard Way he falls head over heels in love with the handsome stranger, but is Gerard really the right man for Frank or is Frank just going to get hurt once again? A Frerard love story.
1. The Meeting

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY, NOR LYRICS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT. **

**Yes this is a Frerard, if you have a problem with this don't read it! But I really wanted to make one and here it is! I hope you enjoy it and don't forget to review! **

**And for you who believe it is wrong to make Frerards:**_** "Like the Ferard thing, there was that thing about Mr Spock and Captain Kirk fiction, so I guess it's just representative of having a huge cult fanbase. […] It's definitely gross, but it's kinda funny though. I find it more funny than gross.— Gerard Way." **_

**I don't know how you feel, but I take it as a blessing... Well it is time to start the story!  
><strong>

_True love... there isn't anything such as true love. Frank knew that before he met Gerard and he know it now after Gerard broke his heart. But sometimes your heart fools your brain so bad that your brain starts to believe in the craziest things - like true love._

_Frank sighed as a thought of Gerard came to the surface of his mind, he could see his perfect beautiful face in front of his own eyes, and the black messed hair and Franks lips could still remember the sweet taste of cookies, coffee and cigarettes Gerard's kisses had tasted of. Yes he had been the perfect man, if only…_

**Two years earlier. **

**Frank.**

Business had been bad lately, I knew that. Me a collage dropout with dreams of becoming the next big rock star had just been fired from my regular Thursday night gig at Bongo because I had screwed up last gig. I used to play the guitar and sing but had been drunk out of my mind and yeah… that was it.

Some weeks earlier I had started to work at a little café because I need to pay the bills… I was bored, hell this wasn't my dream – to serve coffee to people!

"Hello handsome…" I looked up and faced the most beautiful man I ever seen; he was simply the man of my wet dreams… I had to pull myself together right now!

"Hello… what can I do for you?" I forced myself to say and I hoped and prayed that he hadn't noticed me staring at him.

"Well you can give me a cup of black coffee and your phone number… please?" he said the please with a sarcastic tone but he smiled when I poured the coffee for him, I gave it to him, took his money and then I walked away. I didn't want to walk away but I needed so I could stop staring at him. And he must be joking, there is no fucking way in hell that he is gay and if he is… why the hell would he want me?

"Excuse me Mr… but I asked for a coffee AND your number. And all I got was this coffee… You know it is bad service to not give the costumers what they want…" I glared at him, and I realized that he had a serious face. Either he is a fucking great actor… or…

"Okay calm down man…" I found a pink post-it note, ironically it was shaped as a heart, I wrote down my number and name on it.

"Here you go…" I said and he took the note from me. People had started to stare a little but at I had only eyes for him.

"Hello Frank Iero, I will call you. I promise." He said seductive, and then he poured his coffee down his throat before he made his way to the door.

"Hey…" I called out when his spell had worn off, he swirled around and glared at me.

"Yeah?"

"What is your name then?" I asked.

"Gerard Fucking Way!" he smirked and walked out on the street.

Fucking hell! I thought to myself when I realized I hadn't got his number!

**So yes, that was chapter one! I hope you liked it! ^^**


	2. Something Like A Date

**So this chapter is for my amazing friend DreamsOfATeenager! You know I'm allways there for you as much as I can! **

**And yes, if you like this let me know!  
><strong>

**Days later. **

**Gerard. **

I was bored out of my mind and thought I was going to get myself a nice cup of coffee, but my wallet said another thing. I was broke, in need of a job, someone to fuck, drugs and alcohol. Lots and lots of alcohol! Being this awesome isn't that easy, I thought as I watched my shaking hands. All I had in my wallet was some receipts and… a pink heart shaped post-it note. I smiled when I remembered the coffee boy, a punk-rocker kid in his early twenties with arms covered in tattoos. He had been looking good. In fact he had some potential! I picked up my phone ready to have some fun.

"Yeah?" the guy sounded stressed and irritated. I glared at the post-it to remember his name…

"Well hello there handsome Mr. Frank Iero. You really shouldn't answer your phone with a yeah, it is such a huge turn off!" I said in my most seductive voice.

"Sorry but who is talking?" I smiled and decided to answer him with my sexiest voice.

"Oh just Gerard Way… calling to ask you if you are interested to grab some coffee with me. You pay!" a man has to be able to use people!

"Sure… when and where?" I gave him the address to the place I had in mind and hung up as I caught a look at myself in the mirror. Five minutes later I had put some eyeliner around my eyes and I hoped this could be in his taste. Not that I cared, I always get what I want, hell I am Gerard Fucking Way!

**Frank. **

I looked in the mirror, my hair looked good, a long black fringe, shaved at the sides and dyed red. I decided to not wear any make-up, it would look way to desperate. I might have a chance of getting my sexual needs satisfied for once. It had been ages… and I didn't want to ruin anything at this point.

Just before I left I found my earplugs and put on Green Day and god Billie Joe has an amazing sexy voice! It calmed me down a little… and turned me on. I was ready for the "date".

**Gerard. **

I waited for Frank outside and he looked really good walking down the street. But right now I was just going to use him for coffee.

"Hi… shall we?" he asked and we stepped in together in the Starbucks, I ordered for both and he paid for both.

"Wanna stay or walk?" I asked.

"Walk." Frank told me and I could tell he was nervous, he glared at me as I walked confident at his side.

"Dude you REALLY need to relax!" I said with a smirk.

"I'm relaxed!" he spitted out.

"Frank, if this is you relaxed please never ever, ever freak out!" I winked at him and he gave me an angry smile in return. I saw my chance to have a really good night. "Hey are you in for some fun?" I continued.

"Yeah… what kind…?" I cut him off.

"Good you are paying!" I told him and he have me a glare filled with curiosity and a little bit of anger.

**Frank. **

I took out my wallet and gave him the fifty bucks I had.

"That's all I have…" I told Gerard when he gave me a look.

"Being a coffee-boy isn't good paid?" he smirked. I could just walk away… but it was still a mystery why a hot guy like him even would look at someone like me, yes I have been rejected over and over again… told you I was sexually frustrated…

"Oh so you have so much money yourself so you are just using me?"

"No honey, I just want to see how devoted you are!" still with that smirk on his face he took the money from me. Gerard picked up a phone and walked some meters away from me. I heard him mumble something then he raised his voice and I heard him say.

"No I got the money! Yeah I'm not lying this time!" after he hung up he turned to me.

"Stay here!" he told me and he walked away with his coffee in his hand. God he was sexy!

**Seriously it is okay to hate Gerard... even I hate Gerard in my own story... -.- and don't forget to review! **


	3. He Stole A Kiss

**Okay i'm sorry if this is crappy and short... this is my third chapter written in two hours and I'm like really tired now...but I hope you can enjoy it!  
><strong>

**Frank. **

"Cocaine and vodka, this can't be better!" Gerard laughed as he lit up one of MY cigarettes. He had used my money to buy the drugs, he had picked up the vodka from his bag, but he barely let me taste it… that money was supposed to go to food and to pay the rent for me. But somehow I didn't mind, I mean now I could spend the evening… maybe even the night with Mr. Sexy here.

"Come on Coffee-Boii you need to loosen uo!" he lit another cigarette and gave it to me with a smirk.

"Would you stop telling me to do that?" I hissed before I dragged the oh so amazing smoke down my lungs.

"I stop when you take my advice!" another smirk. He was silent for s minute, he actually seemed to be thoughtful.

"Have you ever kissed a guy?" did he just as me that?

"Should I have?" The answer was yes, but I didn't want to tell him that, I wondered where he was going with this. All the sudden I was nervous, I'm never really nervous. Not before I met Gerard at least…

It didn't scare him off, my nervous voice, eyes, everything. He took a step closer to me and took my face in his hands and then he kissed me. it didn't last long, but it was heaven the few seconds when he nibbled for my lip whit his teeth. I didn't have the time to close my eyes that fast it went by. He smirked when he let go of my face and I grasped for my breath.

"That Coffee-Boii was a teaser. If you are a naughty boy you will see more of that." He winked. I leaned forward to steal another kiss from him but he had gone back to doing whatever he was doing.

**Gerard. **

I love myself. I just do. I stole a kiss from Coffee-Boii here. I got drugs, alcohol and well a guy that I could fuck. I picked up my phone, pretending to not care about him for another minute. I drank some vodka when I tried to decide on what to do with Coffee-Boii here. Yeah I kinda forgot his name… yeah Frank it was…

**Frank. **

I was so fucking horny it isn't even funny anymore, I just wanna rip Gerard's clothes off… I looked up at him and he gave me a smirk.

"Well I have somewhere to be right now… but I'll give you a call!" he gave me another kiss. A little bit longer this time and not just quite as violent as the one before. Just before we broke apart his hand worked his way down to my little fella and made him even harder by stroking him for a while.

"Sweet dreams. You may think of me while getting rid of that boner!" I blushed as he disappeared from the park bench where we had been sitting and drinking. It took me a while to put myself together and I managed to get home.


	4. Coffee

**I'm sorry about the lack of updates! I hope you can forgive me and give me a review ^^  
><strong>

**Gerard. **

I had a fantastic hangover when I woke up the following morning, or in the regular world it was in the middle of the day. I smirked when I remembered the face of Coffee-Boii, uh… I mean Frank. I had left him for a party with well heavier stuff and it all it had been a great evening. I checked my phone, one missed call and then I found a text from my brother, Mikey.

"Hey bro. Miss ya! Haven't seen you in well forever… care to catch a movie some day? Just a movie, no drinking or drugs… call me!" it read. Of course, the good son would suggest a movie and no partying. I am the lost one, the user. The gay. Mikey can be fun to but that's when his girlfriend loses the leash and let him go out and have some fun with a drink in his hand. The missed call was from mum. The same old fucking thing I guessed. When are you getting clean and sober? When are you getting a proper job? And when are going to get up this ridicules gay thing and get yourself a proper girlfriend?

They cut me off the cash when I came out some years ago, my parents' think I am going to grow out of this. Yeah right. As if.

The thought of my mother's disappointment had made me mad and in anger I opened the refrigerator door and looked in. I had… orange juice. I opened the bottle and sniffed at it. I had old orange juice. I looked in my bag and found the vodka bottle. I took a deep sip and then a cigarette. Breakfast? Check!

I opened my computer, a mail from my employer told me that I had to get the characters for the next issue done for the day after tomorrow. I picked up my sketchbook, the description from my boss and I walked out of the door and straight to Frankies coffee place, with an idea of free coffee. The place was empty, if you don't count the two old women who sat at a table in the back.

"Hello handsome!" I smirked and Frank looked at me, tired and judging.

"What do you want Gerard?"

"Oh there is so much. But I better start with coffee. Black." He poured me the coffee and ha gave me a look.

"And the money?" The two ladies left so we were all alone. "You gotta pay man! I can get fired for this!" he glared at me.

**Frank. **

I glared at him as he decided on what to do, after a second he grabbed my ugly work uniform, pulled me close and gave me a kiss. At first I refused to kiss him, but when I let me lose myself to his mouth and tongue he pulled his head away from my face.

"So it is on the house then?" I nodded, how could I refuse him? I was enchanted by his mouth and charm.

"But you gotta pay for the next one …" I said when I snapped out from his spell.

"Yeah right, we will see about that honey!" he smirked before he sat down at a table close to my disk, he pulled up a sketchbook, pencils and some papers out from his messenger bag.

Since we hadn't got any costumers except for him I started to clean off the tables and after a while and I sat down next to him.

"So you do have a job then?" I mocked him.

"Yeah." He didn't look up from the drawing he worked on.

"You never told me what you do for a living…?"

"I'm a comic book artist." He said and let his hand go through his messy black hair.

"Cool." I said and I looked at him for half an hour when a costumer came in. Gerard popped out for a cigarette sometimes but apart from that he sat at my job until my shift ended.

"Wanna grab something to eat?" I asked when we left together, not ready to leave him yet.

"Can't." Gerard mumbled, as if he was embarrassed and for the first time since I met him he didn't look…. Cocky?

"Why not?"

"I'm kinda broke." He mumbled, he was really embarrassed, and it confused me, how could he be so confident all the time but not now? I really don't get this guy!

"Well I can pay." I told him. My mother had come by this morning to give me some money. I hated when she did that, she isn't a rich woman and with a failure of a son it couldn't be worse… great combo there…

We bought some bagels and coffee and sat in the park together, just sitting there. Gerard picked out his sketchbook and drew more for his work. We sat like that until his phone rang.

**I'm gonna try to update more often I promise! And please review darlings! :) **


	5. You Are Never Going To Make It

**So yeah... is someone actually reading this? Because if you do please review!  
><strong>

**Mikey. **

I pushed up my glasses from the tip of my nose as I looked up from the comic book. The doorbell rang and before I could get up my older brother entered the room. I stared at him and I could barely believe my eyes. Sure he had been a mess as long as I can remember but now he just… looked plain horrible. His messy hair was greasy and way too long to suit him, his arms were filled with marks from needle's and from years of self-harming, and he looked so thin, like he hadn't eaten in ages and lived of drugs and coffee. After that thought had crossed my mind I realized that it probably was the truth.

"Geze, you look like shit!" I told him, he did look like shit but he still looked mad at me. I decided to drop it and I moved on to another subject. "Gee when was the last time you ate?"

"Had bagels and coffee today." He said, still offended by the things I said.

"And hot actually cooked food?"

"I don't remember." He just said. I wanted to freak out, but I didn't.

"You are killing yourself." I stated with a sigh before ordering a pizza.

"So what did you really want Mikey?"

"What do you mean?"

"You call me to hang out, I'm not buying it. You never just want to hang out. Face it Mikey I'm an ass, no one really want to hang out with me!"

"Fine Gee, I want you to get clean and sober, the usual. I don't mind you fucking around, not the smoking, hell I don't even mind the self-harming anymore, that isn't important at this point in your life. You are fucking killing yourself this way and I can't just stand there and watch you die! Don't you get it?" I screamed to my brother. As always he didn't care or listen to a single word I had to say.

"You always need to be the good one, don't you? Get off my back for fucks sake!"

"Never." I said. "If that doesn't suit you there is the door." I pointed down the hallway and he stared at me, I had never thrown him out this way before. But I am fucking tired of this now. So fucking tired….

"Do… do you really want me to leave?" he swallowed hard and asked the question really quiet. "Mikey?" he pleaded with his eyes.

At first I didn't answer, I actually I didn't know. Did I really want him, my older brother, to leave? When I saw his face and his eyes I knew I had to back down.

"No… no Gerard, please stay, have some pizza and sleep here tonight." Weak as always I surrounded in the end. We ate in silence and Gerard put on Ghostbusters after a while, because we didn't have anything to say to each other. No that isn't true, we had everything to say to each other, but we didn't have the guts to say anything…

"Who are you gonna call? Ghostbusters!" Gerard sang along and he stunned me. I haven't heard him sing in a really long time and he still had an amazing voice. If only he could see it… then he might not feel as useless as he feels now.

After the movie we talked about everything and nothing at all, and we made plans for partying for the upcoming weekend, he mentioned that he might have someone new to fuck, and I felt sorry for the guy, Gerard's fucks never was as simple as just fucks. We sure as hell didn't mention things like drugs. At least I didn't want to fight with him about it anymore, not today…

**Gerard. **

I love Mikey, I do… I just, I don't know. I can't find the old connection we once had back in high school. It was a time before alcohol, drugs and self-abuse… life was easier back then, sure I felt like shit back then but I had my hopes up that real life would be better. When I realized life wasn't going to be better our friendship was torn apart. And so was I. drugs usually do that.

Anyway, when Mikey went to bed after giving me 200 bucks I sneaked out and went to one of my dealers, and then I actually went to buy food.


	6. So Fucking Stupid!

**Hey darlings, I know it has taken me forever to write an update! My interest in this story lacked when I didn't get many reviews, so if you are reading this make sure to review and there will be more chapters :)  
><strong>

**Gerard. **

The weekend came and I was getting ready to get to a house party when I received a text from Coffee-Boii.

"_Hey, any plans for tonight?"_

"_Yeah, gonna party with my brother. Come?" _

"_Sure." _

I texted him the address and told him to bring alcohol for the two of us, I didn't want to do drugs tonight; I wanted to show Mikey that I could be good! I put on make-up before I left my shabby apartment.

"Hii Gee!" Mikey laughed as he wobbled up to me, he is pretty skinny and he gets intoxicated fast, even if it was early, I smiled at him but it faded away as I saw that he had his chick hanging behind him. I sighed but I turned on my charming face and gave the two of them a hug.

"Why did you have to bring that one?" I whispered in my brother's ear before we broke apart from the hug. He didn't answer and instead he gave me a fuck off and die look.

"Are you here with someone or what?" the girl asked and I ignored her as I usually did and instead I opened a beer.

"When is Gerard with someone? You know he only fucks whatever he wants or whatever or whoever he can use!" Mikey laughed and stuck his thong down his girlfriend's troth.

"Hey Gee…" a small voice said behind me and I turned around to face, Coffee-Boii. God I really need to learn his name…!

"Oh hey Frank!" I said when I twirled around and put my arm around his shoulder. "This is Frank. He is here with me!" I said and stared at Mikey's stupid girlfriend, she stared at Frank for a second and then she reached out for his hand and said.

"Hey, I'm Alicia! Mikey's girlfriend!" Frank glared over at me and I nodded at my brother.

"Mikey, Gerard's younger brother! Was it Frank?" all the sudden he didn't sound so drunk, he sounded more amazed and grown up than ever before.

"Come on let's get fucked up!" I said and lead Frank into the kitchen, where we found free beer and then we got out for a smoke.

Frank gave me an odd glare and I felt guilty for some strange reason.

"What?" I asked after a second.

"No… nothing."

"Speak Coffee-Boii!" he smiled at his nickname and I decided to keep it up. "Being insecure is nothing that turns me on!"

"Fucking hell…" he mumbled and I took a step closer to him so I could catch every one of his words. The action shocked both me and him and he glared at my face.

"What did that girl mean? Saying you only used people for things and a fuck?" oh fucking hell, he must have hears Alicia back there! This was exactly my plan.

"She doesn't know anything about anything, she believe I use people when they really are offering to do things to and for me. And who would say no to a fuck? I'm not a good girl!" I winked at him when I said the last part and I could see Frank relax in front of my eyes.

"Honest?" he asked and I nodded and took his hand in mine.

"Honest!" I managed to stop myself before I called him "babe"; I didn't want to go that far yet…

Still hand in hand we entered the house to start drinking properly. Frank who had been pretty shy and quiet every other time I had seen him got louder and less awkward with every drink that he swallowed. He even tried to kiss me once and I let his lips touch my cheek. I wanted to keep him on the edge a longer time.

The more I drank the less attractive I found Frank and the more attractive all of the other men got. Eventually my grip of Franks hand loosened and I was on my own again.

_Well hello there handsome! _

**Frank.**

Gerard let go of my hand after I had tried to kiss him and he disappeared into the sea of people and I was on my very own for the first time at the party. Even if the liquor had given me a false confidence it now faded away. I spotted Mikey on the porch and I decided to talk to him.

"Hey man!" I faked the confident again.

"Hey… Frank was it?" I nodded and I lit up a smoke and offered him one, but he didn't take it.

"So… you and my brother huh?" I looked at him and sighed.

"I don't know about that… sometimes he seems to be nice… but sometimes he is just…"

"A dick?" Mikey cut me off. "Yes he is a dick. And if I was you I would get the hell out of this, whatever it is, and stay the hell away from him as fast as I could. I love him, but I tell you Frank, he is a total dick and his is trouble for everyone he touches. I'm saying this because you seem to be a nice kid… and I don't want him to hurt anyone else."

I didn't know what to say, was I supposed to listen to this guy or what?

"Trust me, all he does is to hurt." He took off after his warning and I got inside as fast I had finished my smoke. I really needed to find Gerard now. I didn't know where to find him, but I decided to go downstairs and all the sudden I stumbled into an empty room. Empty apart from the two men, one was standing on his knees, with his face in the other man's groin.

"Yes, fucking yes!" echoed in the room and my eyes looked at the man who happily received the blow job. My heart skipped a beat when I saw who it was. As I ran upstairs and away from the party I kept on asking myself how I could be so fucking stupid. And Mikey's words echoed in my head.

_"All he does is to hurt…"_

**I hate myself because that Gerard is so mean in this story, but he has to be to make the story work... So please review and I'm gonna update more often!**


	7. Time To Let Go?

**Sorry, it has been ages since something happened on this story... but I didnt find any inspiartion to write. And I hate to publish anything I'm not happy with... So I hope I'm forgiven! Don't forget to review, because I love when I see a new review! ^^  
><strong>

**Frank. **

I was blinded by my own tears on the way from the party. I walked until my knees felt weak and I sat down on the ground, I felt sick. Sick because of Gerard and his fucking lies, sick from all the booze I had been drinking. I didn't know what to do with myself, but as I gazed over the grass an empty beer bottle caught my attention. My hand grasped around it and I stood up and smashed the bottle into a thousand sharp pieces.

"Frank you have always been stupid, but this might be the stupidest thing you have done and it is time for you to suffer." I couldn't stop the words from coming out from my own mouth.

The blood that slowly steamed over my arm and wrist felt unnaturally hot, but at the same time the nausea eased a little. My mind cleared, and I thought through what really had happened during the evening. The words I had heard before I had said hello to Gerard. What Gerard had told me, the booze, and the conversation with Mikey… And then the scene that flashed before my eyes over and over again. That someone had been sucking on Gerard's dick. My head was spinning too much to be able to decide if I was more angry because I felt betrayed or if I was just plain jealous of that other guy…

I had been sitting there for a while when my phone buzzed, Gerard… should I take the call? My hands were shaking as I answered the call.

"Yeah?"

"What did we say about answering your phone with yeah? Do not do it, I don't want to be turned off every time I call you!" I let out a little sigh, I felt relieved to hear his voice again, but the anger came back to me again.

"What do you want Gerard…?" I said irritated.

"Where did you go? I wasn't done with you tonight. You can't just leave like that, how would that look?"

"I thought you were. Sorry. I had to go. I can't talk to you anymore."

"You didn't find someone to fuck, did you?" he screamed in my ear. Oh just like you found someone willing to give you a blow job, was the answer I wanted to give him. But I knew it wasn't the right thing to say… even if I was drunk and hurt.

"No…" I sighed, trying to sound miserable as fuck. "I felt sick. I have been puking my guts out for the last twenty minutes now…" well almost the truth.

"Whatever you say Tim." He mumbled. "Well I better make sure the party still goes on over here!" he broke the conversation and the call in my ear and I let my arm with the phone fall down to my side. It took me until then to realize how much my arm was actually bleeding.

**Gerard. **

Handsome, well I guess that wasn't his name, but since I didn't bother to ask him before and didn't want to take my member out of his mouth when I had placed it in there, let us call him that. Anyway, handsome made a great job and I was almost sad when I came in his mouth, but he swallowed like a good boy. And thank god for that or else I had to become aggressive with him and I was too drunk to throw a punch at his face now. He smiled like a dork when he was done and I smirked back, I had him in my power now.

"You want to take this party to another level?" I asked and he gave me a glare.

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think I mean? Ever tried sex while being high as fuck?"

"No… never."

"Then you haven't tried sex! I'm gonna give my dealer a call, then are you going to go to the place we arrange, you pay and then you are getting back here and we'll have the night of our lives handsome!" he nodded and I made the call. I didn't bother about what Mikey would think anymore, I just wanted to get high.

When I had hung up and had given the kid the details he disappeared, so fucking naïve… As if I was going to fuck him, I had already got what I wanted from him, and even more than I had expected. I looked around in the room, but didn't seem to find Coffee-Boii anywhere. I picked up my phone and dialed the number. My hands were shaking; I was in greater need of the drugs than I thought I had been.

"Yeah?"

"What did we say about answering your phone with yeah? Do not do it, I don't want to be turned off every time I call you!" he let out a little sigh, when he heard me talking, I was just glad that he answered the phone.

"What do you want Gerard…?" I listened to his irritated voice.

"Where did you go? I wasn't done with you tonight. You can't just leave like that, how would that look?"

"I thought you were. Sorry. I had to go. I can't talk to you anymore."

"You didn't find someone to fuck, did you?" I screamed out, and I realized some of the reminding people, including my brothers annoying girlfriend stared at me. It took a while before he answered me again.

"No…" he sighed, with a miserable tone in his voice. "I felt sick. I have been puking my guts out for the last twenty minutes now…"

"Whatever you say Tim." I mumbled. "Well I better make sure the party still goes on over here!" for some reason I felt hurt that he had left… But I hung up in his ear and waited impatiently, with a beer in my hand, for Handsome to come back.

"Finally!" I said when he came back with a goofy smile.

"This better be good…" he said as I dragged him downstairs. I placed my lips over his to make him do whatever I told him to do.

"Have you tried cocaine before?"

"Just weed…"

"You are going to love this! Just do like I do!" I opened the little plastic bag he had given me and poured the white powder on the pocket mirror I had taken from my pocket. Then I made four lines with a razorblade and then I inhaled the drugs into my nose. I did the other line straight away and I rolled my eyes back and let the drug take over.

"Ohh hell… this is good stuff…" I said with a smile.

Handsome did one line and waited for the drug to kick in, as he waited I started to kiss his neck, biting it but when his mouth was dangerously close to mine I pushed him away from me.

"You are gonna be sick if you do more…" I told him and did the last line. Soon I was flying higher and higher up to the clouds. And the kid was jumping around.

"You ready?" I smirked. He nodded and I gave him a quick blow job and then I fucked him. Hard.

I left him on the floor as he gasped for air and went up to the party again. It turned out that Alicia had left Mikey there and I picked up the other bag that I hadn't done yet.

"Want some?" I teased my brother, he only did drugs when he was drunk enough and tonight he greedy took the bag from me, I gave him the tools and a couple of minutes later he smiled at me.

"Good stuff huh? He nodded.

"Let's go dancing!" we left the party for a nightclub. I remember that we got there. Then it was black. I woke up when the sun danced on my face. I was lying next to a stranger. The sheets were sticky from the cum and for the first time in years I felt empty as I made my way out from the apartment, from a guy I didn't even learn the name of… what was happening to me?

**Is Gerard ready to finally let go of his destructive lifestyle, and what is going to happen with Frerard? Review people and answers will come ;) **


	8. Starting Over

**Sorry about the lack of chapters, work has taken over my life! but i only have two weeks left of work so I hope I'll be able to find inspiration to write then! Please review!  
><strong>

**Frank. **

Two days passed by without I heard anything from him, so I assumed he was out of my life. Or I was out of his. It was better off this way anyway.

"Hey pretty boy!" I jumped up in the air when a voice sudden appeared behind my back thirty minutes after I had opened the coffee shop. Gerard.

"Hey…" I glared at him but didn't say anything more. We were all alone and the tension between us was so thick that we could have cut through it with a knife.

"Aren't you gonna ask me what I'm having? How rude!" he smirked at me but for the first time since I first met him his eyes where friendly. Almost as if they were smiling at me.

"No, of course, I am sorry. What can I do for you?" I said without much enthusiasm in my voice.

"Well I would like a black coffee, to stay and some company with that!"

"Stop it Gerard, I have to work…"

"Yeah, because there is such a rush here today….!" He said cockily, but then he changed the tone in his voice. "Please?"

"Sure…" I poured two cups of coffee and we sat down at a table together.

He looked at me, from head to toe without saying anything for a while.

"What happened to your arm….?" I stiffened; I was not ready for him to know this.

"Frank…?" he sounded really concerned.

"What is the matter with you? You are a total dick every time we met, you get me to buy booze, and cigarettes and drugs and you don't have to pay a single nickel. Then you lie to my fucking face, use people… you hurt everyone you see and then you sit here after toying around with my life, you pretend to care about me and my mess so you can get some fucking control over me again! Do you really want to know what happened to me and my arm?" all the sudden I felt strong and almost invincible. Gerard looked as if my words had hurt him more than if I had been slicing him up with a knife.

"Calm down!" he pleaded. I hadn't realized I had raised my voice so I almost screamed. But when he pleaded I sat down again, clutching the coffee mug and stared at him. Gerard still had his power over me.

"Tell me what happened?" so I did, I started with the talk with Mikey, how I had tried to find Gerard at the party and how I later on had found him in the basement… about the bottle, the glass and the blood.

"It is silly. Actually it is really silly!" I said out loud after a moment of silence.

"What is?" he was more quiet than I had ever seen or heard him before when he mumbled the question.

"I am. I wasn't even there with you in that way… I have to understand that I am just another guy, a face in the crowd. Maybe a fuck. But I am nothing more to you. Just someone you can use and ruin."

**Gerard. **

Someone you can use… I knew it was the truth, the words he spoke. Not many of the boys I had ruined over the years had seen through my lies and promises so I could break them down for my very own pleasure. It disturbed me and it left me confused. I was shattered in many pieces. Too many pieces at this point. One piece of me wanted to keep the charade I used to show around me-tell him he was wrong, so I could continue to use him just to keep him around me. Another part of me wanted to beg him to forgive him for being so… cruel to him. But I decided to go with another solution. Not the one who would crush him but not the one where I needed to show my own fragility for him. It felt so foreign, not wanting to just crush him with my bare hands.

"If you feel that way… why don't we start over? How do you feel about a date? Just you and me, trying to straight things out here. Because I like you Frank and I don't want to hurt you. A date to see where we can go from here?" Fuck! I never meant to say to him that I actually like him… but I could see the curiosity grow stronger in his eyes he was still hooked on to me.

"I don't know…." Without thinking I pulled him close and pushed my lips close onto his. The second after his mouth answered my kiss I pulled away.

"Friday, nice looking clothes. Outside this place at eight." Was all I said and he nodded, I smirked at him before walking out of the place. I stopped myself and looked inside the coffee shop and I saw when he slowly touched his lips where mine had been seconds before. And all the sudden I felt my heart pounding faster. I left before I rushed inside to kiss him again…


	9. Feelings

**I know it has been forever, but now I'm done with the move for this time, I'm trying to not get too lost in a new city... I hope you enjoy this chapter, and that you review ^^  
><strong>

**Frank. Friday evening. **

It took me ages to even get dressed for this date, was it even a date? I don't know, but I smoked way too many cigarettes, and had maybe one sip to much from the vodka bottle I had bought earlier today to calm my nerves down. I gulped down two glasses of water and rushed to the bathroom for the hundredth time in one hour.

"What the hell are you so nervous about?" Bob, my lovely roommate and probably oldest friend asked with a smirk. "Are you finally getting laid?" always so tactful…

"In fact I have a date!" I said, and I realized too late how proud I sounded over the fact that I had that date.

"Well I hope it is Mr. Right this time, because I am tired of hearing you crying over another break up. Ohhhh Boooob whyyyyyyyyy doesn't he loooveeeee meeeee?" Bob pretended to be me and… well let's just say it was scaring close to how I sounded for a month after André broke up with me… or any other breakup actually. Yes I am pathetic as fuck.

"He is… special." Was my answer to him mocking me. "So how do I look?"

"I would fuck you!" I gave him a glare, because the thing is no one really knows the truth about Bob's sexual orientation, not even me who have known him for almost all his life. I'm not sure if he knows… I have seen him with both men and women, but he never have been into a relationship and as far as I know he could be into ragdolls or dogs… he do seems to love dogs more than humans… Anyway. The date. I realized I was getting late for it and I reached out for the keys to the car we owned together.

"You have been drinking, I am driving you there. I'm going out anyway!" Bob is fanatic about not letting anyone drive if they have been in contact with liquor; someone close to him was killed by a drunk driver so I guess it is because of that. I nodded gratefully and took the passenger seat in the car.

"What are you doing tonight then?" I asked as he drove down to the coffee shop.

"As boring as it sounds, I'm heading down to the office to get some work done, and then I'm eating dinner at mums place. I'm probably staying overnight there, so you'll have the place to yourself!" he winked and I rolled my eyes at him. "But… are you okay with me not picking you up tonight?" Bob asked when he drove into the sideway to let me out of the car.

"Bob I am a grown man! I'll be fine, I can take a taxi or walking or something!"

"You don't have to money to take a cab…" he complained.

"I will be fine!" I said and slammed the door shut. It didn't take many seconds before the window went down and I heard his voice again.

"Go and get them tiger!" he giggled and I felt the blush rise on my cheeks as I made my way from the car.

And then I saw him, standing with a cigarette in hand and a red rose in his other, as if he was waiting for someone that actually mattered to him…

"Hey Gerard…" I called out and he looked up at me, his face was serious but it didn't take many seconds for him to burst into big smile.

"Hi there!" he said, and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek. "I know this is cheesy, but this is for you… I want to do it right this time!" he gave me the rose.

"Awwwh, so you can be nice to other people if you just want to!" he glared at me, but didn't say anything cocky. "So where are we going tonight?"

"Wait and see!" we walked down a couple of blocks, me clutching the rose in my left hand, and all the sudden I felt his hand in my other. Either was this another act or maybe he was serious about wanting to make another try…

**Gerard. **

We walked in silence for a bit, and then I decided to make another move, when I was close to him I reached out for his hand and squeezed it. He didn't let go and I felt that both of us relaxed in a second.

"I hope you like Italian food?"

"Are you kidding, I love Italian food. If I wasn't completely broke all the time I would have eaten it on restaurant every day!"

"Good, because this is the place!" we stopped outside door with a red, white and green sign over. It didn't look much of a restaurant, but I knew this was the perfect place.

"This?" he asked stunned.

"Don't judge it by the cover! It is an amazing restaurant, mum and dad used to take me and Mikey here all the time before…" I stopped because the words stuck in my throat.

"Before what?" Frank asked when I didn't continue.

"Before they cut me off when they found out I liked boys rather than girls… I'll get money when I and I quote mother dearest, when I stop with this stupid behavior and find myself a girlfriend. They hardly ever even want to see me anymore."

"That's a bit harsh…"

"Well you don't know my parents… just cutting me off was the nicest thing they could have done. I was expecting much worse when they accidently found out…"

"Gerard! It was a long time ago! How have you been?" Tina walked up to me and gave me a hug, Frank glared at her as if she was a threat to him.

"Tina, this is Frank, my date for the evening! Frank, Tina is the daughter of the owners of the place, her parents and mine are old friends so we have been growing up together." I turned to Frank to explain the situation, and then I let Tina have my attention again. "I've been fine…. A lot of work I guess… how about you?"

"I'm just fine! I'm pregnant!"

"That's amazing! Congratulations!" Frank looked lost at my side and I stroke a finger over the back of his hand and in the corner of my eye I noticed that he smiled.

"Thanks… well I'll let you continue your date. It was nice to meet you Frank!"

"Same Tina!" Frank said politely and then we sat down at a table, I tried to avoid eye contact with Tina's parents when we ordered the food.

"Wow you were right, this place is amazing!"

"Well didn't I tell you so?" I felt a smirk spreading over my face. "Wanna stay for desert or should we just grab a coffee somewhere?"

"I would like desert, but I can't eat another bite so let's go with the coffee!"

"You sound like a girl!" I giggled and he pretended to be offended, and as we walked out together I realized that I was enjoying this very much, actually I had the best evening in ages.

"Hey Frank!" I called out to him when he had walked some steps ahead of me; he twirled around and looked at me. "Come here!" I said and when he was close enough I pressed myself against his smaller body and before he had reacted I leaned down and kissed his lips. It wasn't one of those just lips to lips kiss; no he let my thong inside of his mouth and we both gasped for air when we broke apart. I held my arms around him.

"You know what Frank?" I whispered to him.

"No, what?"

"I have had an amazing evening with you…" I said and gave him another kiss.

"I have a crazy idea… wanna skip the coffee for now and get back to my place?" his eyes begged me to say yes.

"You horny boy!" I winked. "But I wanna come with you…" I answered more serious and kissed him again.

**So now I just have to figure out what's gonna happen next... Don't forget the reviews!**


	10. What Happened?

**Hey guys, I know it has been ages. I'm sorry. That's all I can say... I'm going to try to finish this story because I would hate to not finish it! I'm working on it..  
><strong>

**Frank. **

"That was amazing." I moaned when we panted, exhausted from the sex.

"Yeah it pretty was good." Gerard smirked at me before lightning up a cigarette and covering up himself. I crawled closer to him, stole a smoke from his cigarette and smiled.

"So what's this?"

"What's what?" he looked at me, the smirk was gone as if I had caught him off guard for once.

"Are we a thing? Because I think I'm in love with you…"

"Dear god it wasn't your first time was it?"

"No!" I exclaimed irritated.

"Can't we just decide that we are dating and see where this is going, because you just think you are in love with me! It is silly, you don't know me at all… can't you see that everything is a lie?!"

"What messed you up so badly?" I glared at him, but he didn't seem to want to answer. "Gerard?" When he still didn't react I crawled even closer and I tried to give him a kiss, but he turned his head away. Irritated I got up and got dressed as I went out into the kitchen. I heard the door slam shut after some minutes and I smashed my hand against the wall over and over again until the blood started to steam out from the cuts. I stared at my blood until I felt arms wrapped around my shoulders.

"Frank why are you doing this to yourself?" he whispered in my ear before I once again pulled him close, his mouth found mine after just a second and he carried me to the bed. The kissing lead to another thing…

**Gerard. **

"For me it was Martin and Thor…"

"What are you talking about?" I looked at Frank lying in my arms.

"What fucked me up… I figured if you didn't want to start talking I have to…"

"It was my freshmen year in high school… me and my mum moved to a new town and well I met this guy and his friends. He was the most gorgeous kid I had ever seen back then and he and his friends wanted to hang out with me… I fell madly in love with Martin and I did everything he said…"

"So he used you?" I cut him off, jumping to assumptions.

"No just shut up and listen for once will you?"

"Yeah sorry…" I lit up another cigarette and looked at him until he continued talking-

"He was into drugs so when he got stoned so did I… it took some time before I confessed my feelings for him. Of course Martin didn't feel the same way, humiliated I moved to my dad's place, trying to forget. I got clean and sober for some time. But then I found a dealer, I got stoned and dad kicked me out, mum took me in again and my old gang greeted me with open arms… I spend the next school year getting high or drunk and my grades were crappy. And then I met Thor. He was gorgeous, one year older and a fencer. So he didn't approve of me smoking, drinking and getting stoned… actually it took him some time before he even wanted to hang out with me, but around Christmas that year I kissed him told him that I was in love. He didn't respond until some days later, when he told me to clean up my act and he would be mine. I did, I stopped smoking and reduced my drinking to almost zero and I quit the drugs too. Until…" his voice got stuck in throat and I gave him a kiss.

"Until what?"

"Martin overdosed on ecstasy, I knew he wanted to die and so he did… I was grief-stricken and started to do all those bad things again. But the worst part was that I dragged Thor down too… I made him try it and we were happy for some time, or at least I thought so. But he only did it so he wouldn't lose me… I didn't notice the cuts at first. Not until he called me from the hospital, he had almost died and I realized I was bad for him and I broke off things with him. I couldn't face him anymore so I dropped out; becoming the failure everyone knew I was. He was the only good thing that has happened to me and I let him get away…"

"You still blame yourself for what happened to him?" Frank looked at me and nodded. "Is he still alive?"

"He is really successful, in the top of his law school class…"

"Well… at least you didn't get fucked over like I did…"

"You wanna tell me?"

"I had a boyfriend, my first one. He was the sweetest guy, or at least I thought so… I had all of my firsts with him, kiss, sex… well not all of the firsts… We moved in together after high school and one night I was supposed to study late, but I wasn't feeling well so I came home early instead. And there he was, in bed with two guys one of which was my best friends. I knew my friend had been seeing some guy that was in a relationship… I never thought it was my boyfriend. I ran off, straight to a gay bar. I knew who could give me drugs if I had sex with them. I started with cocaine that night three years ago and I never really stopped living like that. I used them for drugs at first, but then I started to use them for everything…" my voice cracked.

"I am so fucked up… I don't see how anyone would want me anymore…" I whispered when I managed to speak again.

He didn't say anything at first, not a single word and I felt the steaming hot tears in my eyes for the first time in what felt like years. When he still didn't say a word I reached out for my clothes but Frank stopped me.

"If you only could see how beautiful you are to me… You know my feelings about you. Be mine?" I looked at him and felt myself nodding.

"I need something good in my life… maybe you are the good thing…" Frank smiled and reached out his hand to dry off my tears and I gave him a kiss.


End file.
